The Hard Sell for Soft Skills

by Tim Jordan, M.D.

Do schools like Wilson really need to take time away from the 3 R’s to teach “soft skills”? Here are a few reasons why the answer is a resounding YES!


The American College Health Association reports that amongst college women, 48% felt hopeless, 89% felt overwhelmed by all that they were doing, 33% felt so depressed it was difficult to function, and 57% experienced more than average to tremendous stress. Sexual harassment instances have been found in politics, the entertainment industry, boardrooms, and the hallways of middle schools and high schools. Young adults report feeling so socially awkward that they need to take 4-5 shots at “pregame parties” in order to be able to talk to people socially. Soft skills are at the root of these problems.


The following social-emotional education skills are critical for kids to learn and take with them as they leave home at age 18.

All kids need the ability to:
1.   have real, deep conversations in-person
2.   read nonverbal social cues
3.   set appropriate boundaries
4.   handle conflicts directly and effectively
5.   advocate for yourself
6.   understand what makes other people tick
7.   collaborate and create close community
8.   express emotions in healthy ways
9.   handle and prevent stress
10. create a tribe of supportive friends


My wife Anne and I have taught these skills at our weekend retreats and summer camps for 28 years and have been honored to work with students at Wilson through our Strong Students, Strong World classroom program. Kids LOVE learning about themselves and others, and good research on social-emotional learning shows that it helps kids develop more positive attitudes towards learning and school, decrease disruptions and conduct problems, increase engagement and participation, increase achievement test scores, and develop better problem-solving skills. What’s not to like?


I compliment Wilson School for making social-emotional education a part of their program, thus helping students be prepared for success. Additionally, I am grateful for parents who support this important work with students. I’ll leave you with this quote from Dr. Carl Rogers.

It is vital to teach Johnny and Mary how to read and write and think and compute. But if they don’t learn to love themselves and each other, the rest isn’t worth anything. Self-esteem and the capacity for loving are the most basic skills each human being has the need and right to learn about.