School Competitions: It’s Not Only First Who Wins

by Thad Falkner, Head of School

“Our next Student Council Treasurer is ______.”  Biannually I hear this announcement, and it usually goes this way: The crowd of students in the library waits quietly to hear the results of the election.  The winner is announced, and a big smile fills her face. Those who lost are disappointed; Do they take away something positive?


Helping students grow academically, athletically, socially, and emotionally requires a breadth of experiences.  Wilson’s Excellence Program provides resources for many opportunities for students, but perhaps one of its lesser known components is the support it provides for competitions.  While it is a small aspect of the program, it makes a big difference for students, regardless of how they place. From Greek Mythology to creative improvisation to extramural sports to robotics, Wilson students tend to have strong outcomes, and it is fun to read the list of winners.  However, in a bigger sense, taking home first place is not the only way for a student to win in a competition.  That’s not to say we don’t celebrate victories, but rather that we recognize that children learn invaluable lessons in resilience and other important qualities through the process of competing and the experience of both winning and losing.

How do our students benefit simply by participating in competitions?

• The very essence of a competition motivates students to do their best  
• Preparation and practice usually precede the competition
• Competition is an exhibition of sorts, requiring participants to demonstrate their skill or mastery in the presence of others

These experiences in themselves carry enormous value in a child’s development and provide encouragement for healthy risk-taking.

Of course, one of the risks is the question, “What if I lose?”  We should challenge our students not to fear that question by emphasizing the process rather than the outcome.  Along the way, and after the dust settles, parents and teachers can do this by:

• Helping students make a practice or preparation plan
• Giving them feedback on skill development and on their effort along the way
• Reassuring them that being nervous for the competition is healthy and normal: It shows they care.  Scientific research indicates that this actually improves performance
• Reflecting with students after the competition and setting the next round of goals;  emphasizing that adversity provides a chance to try again and to improve
• Modeling winning and losing well

 
Growing in grit, resolve, and persistence happens through repeated processes, not from a singular event. There’s a lot of truth to, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” By giving our students a chance to live out that maxim, they learn that being successful doesn’t just come from winning.

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