Grit Through Goal-Setting

by Thad Falkner, Head of School

As we move into 2020, it’s a natural time for reflection and for contemplating our aspirations for the coming year.  What we know as adults is true for children and adolescents, as well: Success is rarely accidental; it most often comes as the culmination of goals that are set and pursued. 

While your children may not have any lofty ambitions for the year ahead, this is a natural and worthwhile opportunity for them to experience the process of setting and working toward a goal.  Whether they succeed or fail in reaching it, they will receive the invaluable reward of learning grit and resilience. Give it a try!

A few things to consider:

• Seek balance.  A fulfilled life isn’t limited to success in one realm, so goals should be set in a variety of areas.  Consider four goals: a learning or academic goal; one related to an activity, talent, or passion; another oriented towards service; and one for happiness.
  
• Envision success.  Too often this step is overlooked, and it is crucial to the process.  Perhaps your child wants to become a better reader. In talking this out, you discover the goal is to read a chapter book independently.  This can be visualized if you help pick out a chapter book and keep it until the book can be enjoyed independently.
  
• Identify what it will take.  Practice and rehearsal are key to most any goal.  Deciding the amount and frequency leads to establishing a routine.  Persistence is necessary, as it takes about three weeks to make the practice a habit.  
  
• Embrace support.  Grit is not a solo act.  Parents are in the perfect position to help (or to find the right help) for their child.  Do not forget the importance of encouragement- something as simple as pointing out growth goes a long way. 
  
• Reflect, revise, and celebrate.  You win some and lose some.  When it goes well, honoring the accomplishment spurs more success.  When it does not, adversity brings its own opportunity- it is the practice of grit.  Assist your child in deciding what else to do, and inspire them to try again.    
  

 
Children are uniquely equipped for the practice of goal-setting because of their enthusiasm and joy.   Instinctively, parents want these traits to endure, but their approach for doing so is important. Parents can clear the way for children to easily succeed, but that will not empower them for true, long-term success nor cultivate resilience.  Conversely, parents can guide their children to success, allowing and encouraging them to work through adversity. This leads to grit, which in turn leads to lasting enthusiasm and joy, because your children will be equipped with appropriate self-sufficiency.  

Here’s to enthusiasm, joy, and success for our children in 2020!